|
On Time, with Love
1. On Love, with Time 2. I am not a story
1. On Love, with Time
2. I am not a story
Looooong time ago When I was a virgin People around kept telling me YOU ARE A VIRGIN My mother: dont wear that dress! My father (as well as my little nephew): whyyyy? Whyyyyy? Wheeeeere ? With whoooom? Warren Beaty kissing Nathalie Wood: oh, darling! My boyfriend Cristian: by the way, my parents are out for dinner, would you come to see my bookshop? An old woman at the trams window: I was young, SO young!
The world was trying so hard to attract me with a certain unavoidable complicity Every night under the moon my mother, my father, my aunt, Warren Beaty, my boyfriend Cristian, Nathalie Wood and the whole cast of Splendor in the Grass would get together and push the wheel of time: Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Zero! Everybody just KNEW that the day will come The day of Tomorrow.
Virgin unvirgin: I just couldnt decide. It was no longer an intimate matter The World was SURE. They were just waiting.
In those days I used to cover my face with my hair And think about nothing being inside me just being alone in my room, in a sunny afternoon, behind my lazy legs No longer knowing about love
not being anybody especially not The Virgin I saw myself, The Daughter, marring a good boy I saw myself, The Lover, undressing in Cristians room I saw Warren Beaty kissing Nathalie Wood And the old woman counting the people who would weep at her grave She was dying as she was old We all die when we are old
I am pretty sure I stopped the time in that sunny afternoon When I decided not to be your character Not even my character Just to be nobody A woman but not quite A daughter but not quite A lover but not quite Me but not really me
I chose to make love with a stranger because I loved Cristian I really didnt want us to be some fucking characters of our stories Of everybodys stories, I refused to contribute to the worlds wisdom So I made love with the first man that made me feel like a woman than I told Cristian and he got upset my mother got upset Nathalie Wood kissed Warren Beaty Everybody did what he was supposed to do I saw them all together one night under the moon Celebrating the day of Tomorrow The fact thats how life is - death.
Afterwards, me, the unvirgin, I chose Cristian But he didnt choose me It is too late, he said you broke my dreams.
I am happy I gave Cristian the chance to live Love is not our fixed ideas LOVE IS NOT A STORY Love is not Romeo and Juliet Love is freedom Death is the story we make about us Death is what we would do If we were "us", The fact that our children will remember we were good I guess Cristian was so tired to be The Virgins Lover He stepped outside the story and walked away Abandoning his skin.
poems by Adina Dabija |